


It Started With a Snowball

by amzmcd



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Criminal Masterminds, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Moriarty Is A Dick, Murder Husbands, Revenge, Snow, gay babies, headcanons, mormor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 10:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amzmcd/pseuds/amzmcd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sebastian loves snow and Jim plots revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Started With a Snowball

**Author's Note:**

> Jim despises the cold. Sebastian is a kid at heart. A fluffy domestic story about our favourite murder husbands.  
> (Unbeta-ed)

It started with a snowball. A single ball of tightly compacted white snow, rolled in leather clad hands. What came next was crucial. It was pelted, like a speeding bullet, at Jim Moriarty’s head.  
Sebastian sniggered as a very undignified yelp left the Irish man’s mouth. He never missed his mark, be it with a bullet or a snowball. 

“I’m going to fucking end you,” came a measured but venomous reply, Jim’s lips curling.  
Sebastian bit his lip, smirking. “Oops.”  
“I will kill you in your sleep.” Jim ran his fingers through his ice-flaked hair. His dark hair stuck up all over the place from the scrubbing he had given it and he gave Sebastian one more glare before turning back and slammed the front door, the lock clicking.  
Sebastian laughed, shaking his head as the snow came down heavier now.

Half an hour later Jim decided he wanted tea so the sniper was let back in the house. Later when he looked out the window, he saw that Sebastian had built a pair of snowmen. One was murdering the other. How sweet. A small smirk met his lips, but their feud was far from over.  
Over the next few days the snow continued to cover the city in a thick white blanket. Sebastian loved it. Jim pushed just to what extent Sebastian liked the ice and snow by sending him up on roofs across the city to take hits, leaving the wrapped-up killer to shiver as he waited to take his shot. He didn’t miss one, not even if his hands were nearly frozen to the bone. 

Every time he returned from a job he would pelt a snowball at Jim’s office window, laughing to himself when he saw the mastermind glare back at him each time. He had holed himself up with fluffy socks and endless cups of tea, running him empire from the warm comfort of his office.  
Jim’s annoyance at the ice and snow gave him time over the next few days to plot and scheme a cruel revenge for Sebastian. 

The perfect time came the next night, when the news channels had reported an orange weather warning for the city. Inches of snow due to fall in icy flurries. Jim stayed in his office after Sebastian went to bed, finishing up work and plotting his revenge down to the final detail. 

Sebastian was comfy and curled up under a pile of blankets, just in boxers and socks. As a light sleeper, his eyes snapped open when he phone rang.  
“Moran,” he said, half groggy.  
“Get outside. Quick. There’s someone in the garden.”  
He did not question his boss. Not when his safety may be compromised.  
“Stay in the house.”  
He hopped out, grabbing his boots and a hoodie, as well as his Sig-Sauer hand gun before running down and out, keeping his sharp eyes peeled for the intruder Jim had told him about. 

And then he heard the tell-tale click of the door again. Locked. His phone rang once more. 

“Out in the snow in your pants Sebby?” Jim drawled, looking out from his office window with a smirk. “It’s a bit chilly.”  
There was a pause.  
“Fuck you. Let me in!” Sebastian growled.  
“Hmm, nope.” He popped the ‘p’ and his cruel smile was evident  
And then he hung up. 

Sebastian shivered and shoved his gun and his hands deep into his pouch pocket at the front of his hoodie, grumbling about his ‘fuckin’ wanker pogue, Irish cunt arse fucker shit-head’ boss-come-boyfriend.  
Jim watched gleefully as his sniper jogged about trying to keep warm. He blared some Bach and waltzed around with a hot whiskey in hand as he enjoyed the show.

Sebastian rang him.  
"Yes?"  
“Let me in.”  
“No.”  
“Fuck you.”  
“Language, Sebastian.”  
“Let me the fuck—“  
But Jim hung up again, cackling as Moran shouted into the night sky. 

It was almost two am when Jim rang him again, an hour after he had locked him out.  
“What?”  
“Watch your manners.”  
“Let me in. Please Jim, my cock is going to fall off.”  
“Shouldn’t have went out in your boxers then. Silly boy.”  
“Is this over a fuckin’ snowball? You’re such a fuckin’ fairy.”  
Jim tutted and rolled his eyes, “That’s not very nice.”  
“Please?”  
“Have you learned your lesson?”  
“Mm.”  
“What was that?”  
“YES, I fuckin’ have. Let me in!”  
He pounded at the door, harder when Jim hung up for the third time. 

Jim appeared with a smirk, the door open ajar. “What do you say?” he asked with a fake encouraging smile.  
“I actually hate you.”  
“Let’s try it again,” Jim replied.  
“I won’t throw a snowball at you again.”  
“And?”  
“And what?” Sebastian growled.  
“A thank you maybe?” Jim teased.  
“Don’t fuckin’ push it.”

Jim stood back as Sebastian pushed his way in the door, shoving the Irishman’s shoulder with a freezing cold hand.  
“How’s your cock?” Jim asked.  
“It looks like a fuckin’ frozen prawn,” Sebastian whined, throwing his snowy jumper off as he ran upstairs to the shower.  
Jim shook his head, laughing as he heard Sebastian’s contented groan as the hot shower rained over his cold body. That’s my cue, he thought, following him up and shedding his clothes piece by piece.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed my little story! Drop me a comment or a kudos if you're feeling kind :)  
> You can find me on Tumblr at lestrade-lover!


End file.
